Wretched Excess

While walking up the sidewalk on my way to my party, I didn't need to check house numbers for the address.  It was obvious where party-central was. The music and the red carpet were a dead giveaway. I was invited to go to an Oscar party last Sunday. While I really appreciate the effort, cost and fabulous-factor of the party, I found it to be a bit overboard which made this country-boy feel a bit uncomfortable with all the wretched excess.

75% of the guests had tuxedos and evening gowns. They looked smashing!  I felt like I was at a wedding. While the hosts assured me that my casual elegant dinner jacket was fine I did feel under-dressed. We all entered on a red carpet past a line of chain-smoking housewives in evening gowns. I was prepared in case one of them asked me who I was wearing, but no one did. Just inside the door was a photo studio where all guests were asked to pose. No problem, I put on my best ham and cheese grin for all my fans.

As I wandered around, I noticed a lot of decadence from art, to ultra modern decor. I opened my vodka cooler and noticed that everyone else had wine glasses. The host gracefully offered a glass with ice so I wouldn't feel so out of place. Of course when I wasn't looking the servants took it away but promptly replaced it with a glass of white wine. Oh goody, now I fit in.

The food was superb and the caterers circulated often with plates full of tiny nibbles of cheesy, meaty deliciousness called hors d'oeuvres. I have to admit one of my guilty pleasures are these cheese platters with ultra expensive and sublimely tasty cheeses. Cheeses Christ I love blue cheese!! As they say in French le plus peu le plus goût. (the stinkier the tastier).

After examining the art gallery and viewing the granite-inspired kitchen it became apparent that the house was under the influence of an interior decorator. These are the evil minions of Conspicuous consumption. I wondered how often they felt the need to change their furniture according to the current trends?

Every where I looked there were little shiny golden Oscar statues. They must have had two dozen interspersed with all the food. I complimented the hosts on their numerous buffets and they talked about how they thought there was too much food. I thought to myself, I'm sure the leftovers will get consumed (I hope).

I do like a good party. One of my favourite memories from this event wasn't the moment best picture was announced. No it wasn't the moment that the cash prize was awarded for the person who guessed the most correct awards. It was when the glamorous neighbour got hammered and fell into a snow bank on the way home. She dropped her drink and food in the process. Perhaps the sidewalk was slippery but I really hope it wasn't. I love it when the elite class consumes enough alcohol to destroy the social inhibitions they worked so hard to suppress all evening. The inevitable emergence of human nature is something I find extremely amusing. Real-life drama is so much more entertaining than Hollywood, isn't it?

Even though I overate and felt bloated, I do feel spoiled and honoured by all the attention and lavishness of the event. I am also concerned about how easy it was to get used to it. Why is it always much easier to raise ones standards than to lower them? Unfortunately it is the loss of resources which will precipitate the collective lowering of standards by the masses. I salute those few who have managed to do it on their own.  The Amish for example. There is a people who's culture really understands the meaning of wretched excess. Now if only they weren't so religious.